I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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