yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
