i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
