I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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