i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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