you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
