Is it normal to miss your booty call?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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