Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
