Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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