Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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