Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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