Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
