Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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