Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
