He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
