Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
