how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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