I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
