Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
