i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
