i would punch a child for taco bell
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
