How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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