I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Its about making memories worth repressing
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
