it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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