I like to think it a success when the cops are called
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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