I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
