I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
