he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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