How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
