i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
