This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize