I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
is it fun? or sober?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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