What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
