I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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