I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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