I wanna passion pit in your ass
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
