just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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