8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
