He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
