You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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