I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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