we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
