I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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