Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
