508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
