1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
