I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
