the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
