i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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