Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize