im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
