i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
