How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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