Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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