shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
