i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
