All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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