I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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