is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I think your dad took our porno
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
