How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
